This week, I hit a very special milestone in my fitness journey: Not only have I now lost 45 pounds, but I’m under 200 pounds for the first time in over 10 years. Yes, 10 years! The last time I remember being under 200, I was 16 years old. I remember this because I was getting my driver’s license, and I lied about my weight: I weighed 200 pounds, but I put “190” on the form because I didn’t like the way 200 felt.
Well, despite not liking that feeling, you can do some quick math and see that I let myself get well above 200. But now that I’m back down here, I appreciate it so much more than I did when I was a teenager. Then, getting to 200 was a disappointment, because it was the result of a significant weight gain that happened after a surgery and some medical issues in my first two years of high school. Now, getting below 200 is a victory! I’ve worked so hard for this moment, and I’m going to have a well-deserved celebration.
(yes, that is a very cringey photo of me at age 16, and yes, I do kind of want to burn it)
I don’t have a final goal yet–people ask how much I want to lose in the end, and I really can’t tell them, because I’m not sure. I know that I want to be healthy and fit, and I know I have some non-scale goals that I want to reach, so I suppose that’s the point at which I’ll be able to evaluate my journey and decide it’s time to start lifelong maintenance. But I have a feeling it’ll be somewhere around a total loss of 100 pounds. That means I’m closing in on being halfway there. I have a long way to go, but now that I’m right in the middle of it, I really know that I can do it, and I will.
Speaking of maintenance, that idea is a foreign concept to me. As I get closer reaching my goal, I look forward to discussing it with my nutritionist and developing a plan. Somehow I feel like that may actually be the biggest challenge I’ve faced, because my old habits were very poor. There was no such thing as weight maintenance in my mind–I overate (even when I wasn’t really even hungry) and was generally inactive. Maintenance will, I imagine, be all about modifying the healthy habits that are already getting me to my goal weight to stay at that weight. I’m so thankful that I’m taking this route to reach my goals (healthy eating and activity rather than diet pills or surgery) because I have done a complete 180 in my eating habits, activity levels, and general mentality, which will hopefully make maintenance easier.
It took me 20-25 pounds before I even felt like I saw a difference in my body. That was frustrating because I think a part of me expected to start dropping sizes quick. But suddenly, once I crossed that threshold, it was like half of my clothes were suddenly huge on me. Now, I’m noticing changes in my body every week. Sometimes they’re little things (oh hey collarbones, long time no see!) and sometimes they’re big (I tried my jeans on the other day and they were so big I could barely keep them up!) Every week I try to pinpoint a non-scale victory, whether it’s that I went down a size, ran longer than I had before, or resisted a craving to eat some unhealthy food. I don’t just want to rejoice in the lost pounds, but in every moment and every small victory.
This is me in March vs. me in August (those are actually two different pairs of pants, despite looking very similar. The ‘before’ pants are way too big on me now, and the ‘after’ pants used to be far too tight!) Browsing back through old photos really helped me to start noticing the changes in my body. It feels great to notice how I’m progressing and that my hard work is really getting me somewhere.
So here I am: Just over 4 months into my journey, and down 45 pounds. Here’s to the next 4 months, the next 45 pounds, and every step along the way!
While you’re here, let me know in the comments: what kind of blog posts do you want to see from me in the future? Do you like these updates? Is there anything in particular about my fitness journey or life in general that you’d like to read about? I’m open for requests and suggestions!